If you’re friends with a particular type of smartphone-owning person, you might have received one of these messages already. These dirty chain text messages have been around for a while. “It’s the end of COCKtober □□□ but that means the beginning of □□□ HOEvember!! □□□ get ready □ for SPANKS- GIVING □□□ send this to 1️⃣4️⃣ hoes who need to be spanked □□ by daddy □□□□ if you get this message □□ you will get a special □ spanking □ from SUGAR DADDY □□□ forward this to 1️⃣4️⃣ fuckgirls □□□ to get some □□ in-the- BUTT- ACTION □ If you don’t, □ be prepared □ for 6️⃣9️⃣ days without the D ❌□□” I’d copy-and-pasted a chain text my friend William sends me monthly. I can’t claim to have come up with something so poignant and poetic on my own. “□ u candy cane cum guzzler □□ DICKCEMBER□is here and u know what that means ❄ HOE HOE HOE season has arrived □ put on your rudolph panties □ pop ur peppermint pussy □ and sit by the fireplace with some hot COCKLATE □☕if u want to get RAWED □□ under the mistletoe □ this christmAss □ send this to 15 of your sluttiest elves □□ if u get 0 back □ ur an UGLY GRINCH□ if u get 5 back □ □□ SHARE in 69 □□ seconds or you won’t be gettin dicked down □ in 2❕0❕1❕6” I wanted to send him a text before we saw each other. We planned to meet up and discuss whether we’d continue, but I was pretty sure we were done. We’d only been on five dates, and it didn’t seem like the relationship was going in the right direction.
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January 2023
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